I'm Thankful for...

A few months ago I found myself submerged in negativity. Especially at work. Those who would know my recent workload would say that it would be totally understandable to feel that way, but I wasn't having it. I like to be positive. I like to look at the upside of life. And I certainly don't want to be the person who brings others down.

I was having an especially difficult day trying to dig myself out of a mood when I decided I to write down what I was grateful for and shared it with my team... and then encouraged my team to play along. In some ways I wanted to be held accountable to look at the good side of life again. Thus, started a weekly tradition of Grateful Fridays. Occasionally, we share pictures or fun facts, but at the core of it is to share what we are grateful for or something we are looking forward to. Right before my husband's birthday I shared how excited I was to celebrate his 'James Bond' themed birthday which resulted in a poll about who was the best James Bond (sadly half of my team has not seen a James Bond movie - what the heck?!).

At any rate, I am less negative, less stuck in those murky moments, and I can see how my child has even been in a better mood. That in itself is a winner. So, with my positive attitude back in place (or at least getting there) and Thanksgiving upon us I thought I would share some things I am grateful for this year.

My Family

My family comes in many forms: Immediate, adoptive, step, birth... and I am grateful to have them all in my life.

Coordinated for voting

My husband and daughter ensure that I laugh every single day. I couldn't have asked for a better family and it seems so long ago that I wondered if I would ever find the "right" guy and have a child of my own. I guess sometimes you just have to be patient.

These are just a few of my siblings. I have something like 15 of them - yeah, 15 siblings - and not one is a full blooded sibling. It's complicated. And my dad - what a guy. I know I've had a lot more stability in life for many years now, but that wasn't always true. But the one person I could always count on was my dad.

My birth family. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with such a big family. I don't always feel like I am able to give my all to everyone of them, but they always make me feel loved and welcome. You can't beat that.

I seriously have the best in-laws in the world. And it's a good thing I like hugs, because these people like to give them.

My Work

Yes, my work. Even though my job can be stressful and overwhelming it also gives me satisfaction. I get to strut my stuff in a way that I don't get to do at home. And I am rather lucky to work with the awesome team I do (including the 4 new fantastic people that just joined our team). Oh, and I have a job - I'm grateful for that alone when I know so many people do not have a job.

My Friends

I really do not spend enough time with my friends, but I know they are always there when needed. This past year I got to hang out with a couple friends that I haven't seen in years and it was so nice to reconnect. Plus, I am SO looking forward to a girls weekend in January with the biggest hearted, wackiest ladies I know (now just to figure out where to go).

My Health

I have a number of annoying health issues, and even though they seem to be becoming more and more apparent as I get older I also consider myself quite healthy. Plus, this year my husband and I started working out again. We decided to make our health a priority again and it feels good.

My Home

Sure, I love that I have a roof over my head, but love that I get to live in a house that I loved in as a child. I doubt I will be here forever, but for the time being it fits. And while most of my bad memories growing up were in another house some bad memories linger here too. I have to say it's a little healing to be creating new, good memories here.

My Cats

These two do not get the credit and love they deserve since Riley came into the picture, but they seem to go with the flow.

I'm quite grateful to still have Diablo around. When he was diagnosed with renal failure over four years ago we were told he had two months to two years to live, but he's still here. I know his time is limited and I am trying to make sure I don't take that for granted.

And Lucy? She often annoys me, but does SO well with Riley and for that I thank her.

 Random Acts of Kindness

I recently witnessed a woman stop to let an elderly gentleman pet her dog. It was really a simple, but meaningful gesture that was filled with such kindness and obviously brought joy to this man. These type of moments always bring me such faith in the world and is a good reminder to spread that kindness myself.

What are you thankful for this year?

Book Review: Sipping From the Nile

Sipping From the Nile: My Exodus from Egypt by Jean Naggar

As you've probably come to know, I like a good memoir. Oh sure, I like a good fantasy, but I really want to know what other people's real life is all about. At first glance when I read these memoirs, I always think these people's lives are so much more fun, exciting, or tragic than mine. And then I realize mine could be too if I wrote it down in just the right way.

It reminds me that these stories are still a bit of fantasy... and Sipping from the Nile felt like no life I would ever have... but that's sort of why I bought it in the first place. The author, Jean Nagger, grew up in Egypt, but has spent most of her life in America after essentially being kicked out of Egypt after the 1956 Suez Crisis.

The book reads, at first, like the author did an ancestry search and needs to fill us in on all the details of the various people in her family and the family that came before. Eventually, once we feel that we know who everyone is, we get to the center of the story... being told they need to leave their country and much of what they own behind. The author expresses the negative emotions related to this, but the overall message was much lighter, the transition seemed much less devastating than I would have imagined. I wondered if time had lessened her angry memories or if that's the way they all really handled the situation... you know, because people were much more proper and reserved in the '50's. : )

I enjoyed the book, but I often felt each sentence was so descriptive that at times I was a little exhausted by the thought of all that was put into each sentence. I also didn't really identify with the book. Does that make a book bad? No way, but it made it harder for me, personally, to be invested in the book. I grew up in a blue collar family and while we were financially secure, it was because my dad was a penny pincher extraordinaire. I certainly did not come from a family of means, and I didn't face the upheaval her family did. I can't imagine being kicked out of your country for who you are and losing much of what you owned.

The author does demonstrate that people can pick, up and move on after tragic events, but some things will never be the same. Even though her family is spread across Europe and America she stays connected by observing their family traditions and cooking family recipes... things that I often take for granted. If anything, with the holidays coming up, this story has made me more mindful of those special traditions my family has. Our traditional food isn't as labor intensive as many of her family's recipes are, but that doesn't mean I don't love a good Taco layer dip any less.

Grade: B

Books read since the beginning of 2012: 24

Goodbye Diapers: Potty Training

Warning: As the title suggests this post is ALL about potty training. I will be talking about pee, poop, and will throw in a puking story for fun. If that's not your kind of thing pass on by, but if you want to know what 'pine coning' is read on...

We've made multiple attempts at potty training for some time now. I was pretty sure that Riley was ready a few months back. We bought undies and stickers, and printed out a chart, but then she became adamantly opposed to going on the potty. You'd think we were torturing her whenever we would say "let us know if you need to go potty". It did not go over well.

I finally decided that since she clearly knows when she needs to go and has the ability to tell us I was going to try the three day process. We just had to wait for a weekend where we weren't doing anything... which was more difficult than I realized. Even when I finally planned on a weekend a couple invites came my way. I didn't attend them, but that was more about the migraine I had as I could have left Riley home with her dad. BTW, potty training a kid with a migraine isn't nearly the nightmare I thought it would be.

At any rate, I initially planned on us starting this process on Friday since my daughter is home with my husband. I emailed him the three day breakdown to which I received the response "I'm terrified". Apparently, my husband and our daycare provider, Char, were skeptical about pushing potty training at this time. Me? I had a lot more faith that it would work out, but I also had a healthy dose of realistic expectations. I knew it would not be easy.

I finally conceded and agreed that we could start the process on Saturday since Riley is usually the only kid at daycare on Monday and Char was on board to help with the process.

Day 1 - November 3rd

I had been talking about this for some time so Riley would be a little prepared. I was a little worried  that no matter how much I talked about it she wouldn't be game, but turns out she was quite cooperative. We put her in a shirt with nothing on her bottom (not even pants) and headed downstairs to our main floor where we planned to spend most of the day. I put down a small picnic blanket that easily wipes off in case she had an accident, but Jesse was nervous about this and added another larger blanket for good measure. (Side note: later in the day this all became fort material that stayed up for a week. To my husband's chagrin the very material he wanted to protect the floor was now above our child's head.)

We have a stand alone potty and one that attaches to the toilet, but for this process we moved her stand alone potty to the dining room which is essentially the center of the house. I think this was a key factor in this process as she was able to go over, without having to tell us, and potty by herself. All morning she made multiple trips to the potty in which she would earn a sticker each time. I bought a bunch of $1.00 toys from Target and a few other slightly bigger toys as incentives. Per our past experience, stickers didn't seem to be much of an incentive for Riley so I also bought gummy candy as it's a big treat for her. Turns out I didn't have to take one thing out of the bag as she was delighted with the sticker chart, the high-fives, and the general excitement we expressed each time she pottied.

At one point in the day she ran over to the potty, did her business and turned to look in the potty. She asked "what is that?" to which I responded "it's poop". I guess she's never really seen it before. It's not like we show her what's inside her diaper so I can understand her confusion. She proceeded to ask multiple times "what is that" because she clearly didn't believe my answer. After a pause she turned to me and said "it's a pine cone". Huh, yeah I guess it kinda looks like that. Oh kid, you crack me up. Also? Pine cone has now become a verb per our daycare provider who shared with us later in the week "Riley pine coned in the potty today!" I will never look at a pine cone the same and can't wait to share this story with her friends when she's 13.

That afternoon she woke up on the wrong side of the bed after her nap and was the old 'freak out at the mention of the potty' kid I knew. My husband wanted to get out of the house and decided to take Riley down the block to the park. I probably should have pushed more to wait until she pottied before we left the house, but I didn't and this resulted in the one accident we had during the day. After we got back and changed her she seemed in a much better mood and did well the rest of the day.

Day 2 - November 4th

On day two we decided to put Riley in pants, but not underwear. Again, we spent the day mostly in the house and Riley still was incredibly cooperative.

She did have an poop accident this day that was somewhat comical in retrospect. She was playing in our office when she went running for her potty. When I found her sitting there she complained of wet pants and when I looked down I found a little poop on the ground.

I attempted to clean it all up while trying to keep Riley from stepping in the mess. She kept standing up and asking for a sticker. She didn't actually go in the potty so I explained that accidents happen, but she only gets a sticker when she goes in the potty. This led to her 'trying' multiple time to go in the potty. She really, really wanted that sticker.

Distressed about not getting a sticker

During one of her 'tries' I was cleaning poop off of her foot when our cat, Lucy, started puking about a foot away. I would have ignored it except she started eating it. I know that's not the end of the world, but GROSS. I was yelling at Lucy to stop, and yelling at Riley to stay seated while my husband was laughing at me from the other room. Nice.

Jesse finally came out to help, and I asked him to clean Riley up in the shower as she had poop on her foot. Apparently, he missed the part where I said she has POOP on her foot as he told her to go to the bathroom. Luckily, I intercepted that one so we didn't end up with an even bigger mess and made sure he carried her to the shower. So while Jesse washed Riley down I cleaned up the puke and the poop and made sure all was clean.

I went to get Riley a new pair of pants when I found her back in the office where she was originally playing. And that's when I discovered a huge pile of poop about a foot from her. Apparently, this is why she didn't poop in the potty at all - because she already left a deposit in the office. I grabbed Riley and let Jesse clean this one up.

After Riley's afternoon nap Jesse wanted to get out of the house again. He wanted Riley to have a chance to run around. I agreed, but said we couldn't go until she peed. Jesse got tired of waiting and decided he was going to take her to the mall. Uh no. I didn't want to put her in a spot where she would feel bad if she had an accident so instead we walked down to the park. The ice rink walls were set up and the tennis courts were open so we ran around in each. This was way better than going to the mall. And apparently, according to Riley, there is a shark that lives on the far end of the tennis courts so be careful.

After running around for some time we got Riley home, but as we walked in she had an accident. Day two with two accidents, but the kid did pretty well throughout the day.

Day 3 - November 5th

This was a daycare day, but Riley is often the only kid there on Mondays so I knew she would have Char's full attention. This day we put her in underwear and pants and she did great! Not one accident all day long. And the doubt that my husband and Char had? Gone.

Day 4 and beyond

It's been a couple weeks since we started and Riley's had a few accidents, but has had many accident free days. We have to be a little more mindful of her schedule and making sure her bathroom needs are attended to, but she usually tells us when she needs to go without any urging.

One night I was in the midst of cleaning out the cat box and Jesse was in the shower when I heard Riley say "I want to play with bodies". I asked "you want to play with bodies?" to clarify because, you know, that seemed like an odd request, and she responded "yes" while she ran up the stairs. I knew this couldn't be right, but continued on with my task. Before long I heard her screaming the comment over and over with a daddy or a mommy included. I washed my hands and headed upstairs where I found her slightly panicked next to the big toilet. Luckily, she held it until she was on the potty. Apparently, she was saying "I have to go potty". It's an easy mistake. Trust me.

She still wears diapers for her naps and at night, but more and more she wakes up dry and heads straight to the bathroom if needed. In fact she's had a lot more night time wake ups which we weren't sure about at first. "Are you cold? hot? hungry?..." Finally, we realized she had to go to the bathroom and was anxious about peeing in her diaper, but to tired to articulate what she needed.

She is incredibly proud of herself... as are we. I can't imagine this going much better than it did. She really did embrace it. I didn't have to give her a ton to encourage her (we didn't even give her stickers every time she pottied), and she doesn't seem to have the fears I often hear about in other kids (going potty in a strange place, pooping...). I know she'll probably still have some accidents and it might be a little bit before we get rid of diapers during her sleep times, but as far as I am concerned she's potty trained and there is no looking back.

Good job, kiddo!

Stickers went wherever there was room

Jesse's Birthday - 11/11

Jesse's Birthday is a little bit of an event around here. Some years are better thought out, but even the lame years are fun. This year might not have been as exciting as some (dog sledding, treasure hunt through REI...), but it did have a theme and was probably both what we needed: A date night out.

Jesse and I don't go out alone very often so I wanted to work that into his birthday, but if you've read about his past birthdays you know that I couldn't just say "hey, we are going out to eat and to a movie". We are big James Bond fans and it turns out the new movie was coming out 2 days before his birthday so I knew that was the movie we were going to see. Jesse also loves Thai food so I figured he'd want that as well. But still, how was I going to present this to him?

Jesse had a lot of fun the year he had to do the treasure hunt and figure out the clues he was given so I figured I'd make him do some work for his gift this year. I made up a crossword puzzle (I used this site and it worked great) which was all about James Bond... except for one clue which led him to the dryer for his actual gift. Yes, the dryer. It's been a gift giving venue ever since 2006 (including a marriage proposal).

Since his birthday was on Sunday I decided we'd actually celebrate on Saturday (thank you grandma for taking Riley overnight) and then we'd have lunch with his mom on his actual birthday. So while Riley was down for her nap Saturday afternoon Jesse filled out his crossword puzzle, and then headed downstairs to the laundry room. There he he found "tickets" to dinner and a movie in the dryer while I had James Bond theme music playing.

He needed help with a few of the clues, but got most of them on his own.

This creepy picture above wasn't really what I was planning, but Riley and I were making a card at the last minute and this was what I came up with. That's Jesse's face on James Bond. Creepy.

Grandma picked up Riley, and Jesse and I headed out to dinner. Because we are old and tired all the time we went to the 6:00 pm movie and because it was the only one with seats available past the first row. I almost pre-bought the tickets the day before (at our theater you have to reserve specific seats), but opted out at the last minute. This left us with few options when I ordered tickets online the day of. Lesson learned. So we watched from the third row. It wasn't as bad as I was anticipating even with a talker sitting on the other side of me ("holy pockets!" she said).

The movie? Well, I don't want to spoil anything for those planning to see it, but it was good. Still not my favorite (Casino Royale) and they made a decision about one particular character that I was pretty disappointed in. Anyhoo, go see it.

After the movie I insisted on picking up some cake... for me. I knew Jesse wouldn't eat any. We ended the night with some wine and me stuffing my face with a Death by Chocolate Cake. And we were able to sleep in the next morning before heading to the grandparents to pick up Riley.

On Sunday, Jesse's mom Suzie made beef stew and pumpkin pie (Jesse's favorite). We hung out a bit, ate Suzie's delicious food and headed home once Riley started to lose it.

A birthday wish from Riley

Kiddo is barely hanging on here. Thankfully, she was surrounded by her comfort items.

Overall, a successful birthday celebration. Sure, I could have played it up more (Martini anyone? Rent an Aston Martin? Ha!), but it turns out it was just what Jesse wanted. I planned this day out weeks before, but Jesse told me a couple days before that he wanted to see Skyfall for his birthday. Happy Birthday, Jesse!

Uh, yeah this chart thingy

I don't know what to call this chart I made... the' date, weather and season chart' seems a little wordy. I'm sure there's a better name for it, but you can just look at  the pictures to know what I'm talking about. I'd seen a number of bloggers either purchase these or make them recently... and because I am too cheap to buy one and because my 'craft' room is finally complete I decided to make my own. It took me awhile to get around to making one since I had a lot on my plate recently, but things eased up a bit. A tiny, itty, little bit. And it turns out that I find measuring and cutting, and sticker sticking, and marker writing especially relaxing.

I definitely got the overall idea to make this chart from other bloggers and from searching the web, but as far as the design that was pretty much my own (although I am sure there is someone else who has done this as well... and better). It started with knowing that I had some foam board. Unfortunately, the white one I had was severely water damaged and the black ones had bits torn off. While I was at Target without my husband (this is important to note since he keeps us on track to follow the shopping list) I wandered around and decided to buy a new white foam board and some stickers.

I had seen some boards that utilized dry erase markers, but I wanted something that Riley could really grab on to and be active in the changing of the chart daily. I decided that I would cut out individual pieces for each word and date and attach Velcro to the back. So I counted out all the words and numbers I would need and measured out sections on the white foam board. I sliced up the board with an art knife (is that what you call it?), but you could use a utility knife as well. Just make sure it is sharp.

I decided to use a combo of stickers and markers, partly due to cost and space issues (boy does this post make me sound cheap). I also didn't want to buy another white foam board and didn't like the look of the beat up black one as the background so I used some white contact paper I had laying (or lying - I never know) around and (mostly) covered the black foam board up.

As you can see I am such a geek that I figured out all the letters and numbers I would need on that big piece of cardboard just in case there was a chance I could use stickers for the entire board. I really knew the answer before going through that whole process, but again... I found this weirdly relaxing to do. If only someone could pay me to do this crap.

We had some leftover Velcro, but not enough so I made a quick stop at Home Depot on the way home from the gym this morning so I could complete this project. Riley helped me with the finishing touches even if she doesn't really get this yet, but that's the whole point - it's a way to teach her. Once completed, Riley helped me put the correct information on it for today and placed it upstairs so she can see it early in the morning. I think I might post a print out next to it so she can see what day/month/season follows the next with the hope that she can check it and think "oh, Monday comes after Sunday". She seemed to get that we only change the chart once a day... at least for now, and appeared genuinely excited about it. 

Right now I think Riley is more excited about the letters and numbers on this chart, but I look forward to the first time she is able to tell me what day or season it is. It's so cool to see a little one's brain 'get' something new and to know that you helped them in some way to understand. For me, these accomplishments are way more rewarding that anything I could do at my paid job.

Halloween 2012

I actually need to step back in time... way back to 1978 to explain why I haven't been a fan of Halloween. Mrs. Nelson used to take many of the neighborhood kids trick or treating along with her three daughters. This year was no different, and besides the three Nelson girls the group included Tiffany and myself.

Tiffany was three years older than me and was sort of like a big sister to me. Our families were linked in that way that we both knew what the term 'dysfunctional family' was all about. My sister babysat Tiffany and her sister so I spent a fair amount of time in their house. Tiffany looked out for me and I adored her.

So. Halloween 1978.

We were making our rounds in the neighborhood. My new denim school bag (with a cool pocket on the outside) was filling up quickly with all sorts of delicious candies when some older kids walked by. They told they had a treat for us. We were already hopped up on the excitement and sugar of Halloween and weren't about to let a treat pass us by. All we had to do was close our eyes and hold out our hands. The innocent 6 year old in me looped my bag handles over my arm and did as was told as I waited for my surprise.

I was then told to put the bag down.

I know it was a long time ago, but I feel like I knew in my gut not to do so, but I thought "what could happen". Well, the older kids proceeded to put pumpkin guts in my hands and then threw my hands into my face... and took off with my bag of candy. Mrs. Nelson was down the sidewalk, not aware of what was going on, but Tiffany took off after those kids with me on her heals. We never did catch them, my favorite bag lost forever. I was pretty devastated, but Tiffany made sure that I had plenty of candy at the end of the night.

As I got older a lot of people thought I was a party pooper for not wanting to go to costume parties or hand out candy. I had no interest. At all. Over the years I'd occasionally go to a Halloween party, but only because someone talked me into it. And I never dressed up.

Except this time - my roomie made me a matching costume as his. He was a Manwich, I was a Sloppy Jo.

The last Halloween party I went to was probably a good 10 years ago and I haven't gone to one since. It might have been my last straw when one of the guests showed up with a stuffed bunny strapped to his nether regions. At one point during the party I watched him drunkenly stumble to the back of the yard to pee and then stumble over to my group of friends. I later discovered that the bunny had brushed up against one of my friends... and it was wet.

That was enough for me.

That is until 2011. 2011 is the year we took Riley trick or treating for the first time. She seemed to have fun and even said "trick or treat" and "thank you" at every door even if she had no idea what we were doing. My dislike started to break down a little bit, but I still wasn't embracing the holiday.

2011

Fast forward to 2012 and I find myself warming to Halloween a little bit more. Riley had a blast and something changes in you a little bit when you see how excited your kid is over something. Not that I was surprised that this would happen, but it actually makes me a little excited about next year.

But don't go getting your hopes up that you'll see me dressed up in costume anytime soon.

2012

Riley picked out her own costume this year - a cow. My step-mom LOVED cows and would have been proud of her selection if she were still here. Riley was in constant motion from the time I got home from work until she went to bed so the picture above is really the best head to toe shot of her costume. This year she wasn't quite as good about saying "thank you" at every door, because she was too busy saying "let's get more candy!".

Grandma accompanied us as we did a loop of our block. Jesse headed home during the middle of it to make sure kids were getting candy as they came to our house. Once we went around the block we headed home to the dissatisfaction of our kid. She had a mini meltdown, but recovered fairly quickly when she realized she got to help answer the door. "Here's the kids!", she'd yell while jumping around.

With some of her stash in the purple bag.

Giving some cheese while grandma tried to take her picture.

At 7:30 (the time she's usually in bed) we told her it was time to go up to bed which she balked at until I told her that we could go read a Halloween book. She got up from her chair and said "bye Daddy, bye grandma" and headed upstairs. I have no idea how this wound up little girl went to bed after one book, but she did it.

I can't wait to see what she'll want to be next year.

Book Review: A Gentle Rain

A Gentle Rain by Deborah Smith

Kara is an affluent woman who, after a great loss, learns something rather shocking about her past. She sets out to explore her past and discovers an interesting cast of characters including ranch owner, Ben, who has a colorful past of his own. His brother and ranch hands are of various special needs and it turns out that a couple of the ranch hands play a special role in her life.

At times the book is predictable, and a little outrageous, but entertaining, non the less. I imagine this book being a really goof Lifetime movie... although, who am I to speak, I haven't watched the Lifetime channel in years. And when I say Lifetime movie I mean I can't see it on the big screen. But even so I couldn't put this book down. And in the end it left me with warm fuzzies... and who cares if I knew how it would end. Sometimes you just need to have a book like this.

Grade: B +

Books read since the beginning of 2012: 23