Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Momma Rage

Let me just start by saying I am not a perfect mom.

And my child is not a perfect child.

But I recently had an experience that had me seething about other people's parenting skills.

Last weekend, Riley and I took a stroll to a local park. It was fairly busy, but there were plenty of areas to play. As Riley reached the edge of the playground she proclaimed that she wanted to play on the ladybug which didn't have any kids on it.

She took off running, but moments later so did a little girl (about age 2 or 3?) that had been playing on something next to us when we walked up to the park. It was clear that she overheard Riley and now she was running toward the ladybug too. I watched this all unfold and knew what was going to happen before it did, but I couldn't quite believe what this little girl was doing.

As Riley was climbing on the ladybug this other little girl shoved Riley and sat down on the ladybug.

Riley was stunned and started crying. I was appalled, but tried to remember this was a little girl who was at that age where sharing is often a difficult concept. But I have to admit that I thought she was a little snot. I know, she was 2 years old or so, but she knew Riley wanted to play on that ride... and she went for it herself.

The little girl's grandma was with her and saw what went down. I expected her to step in and help resolve the situation. Riley was really upset and kept crying that she wanted to go home. She may have been a little dramatic about it, but I understood why she was upset. Often she does a good job of brushing things off, but this time was a hard one for her.

The grandma turned to her granddaughter and said something along the lines of "Avery, that little girl was going to play on the ladybug. You should let her". Then grandma turned to my balling child and kept asking her what her name was. She finally discovered Riley's name because I was using it to try and soothe her.

Grandma turned to her grandkid and said "you can let Riley play with the ladybug next".


No, grandma, you need to be clear with your granddaughter why she shouldn't have done what she did. Make it clear what the impact is and if she doesn't get off the toy (when, again, it was clear that she pushed my kid out of the way to get on it) you take her off. You set the rules. You demonstrate appropriate behavior so this impressionable young girl knows how to treat others. At least get her to say "sorry".

Maybe I am over reacting, but I was pissed that this grandma was so passive and let her granddaughter get away with this behavior. Perhaps it helps explain why the kid was so pushy in the first place.

Eventually, Riley calmed down and quit insisting that we go home. She continued to play, but I always had one eye on that other kid (especially when she said she wanted Goldfish as she was standing next to our stroller that had some Goldfish clearly sitting there). Hands off my stuff, kid.

I talked with Riley about what happened. I'm not sure she really got the bigger picture. She just knew that someone was mean to her, but I hope she knows that I've got her back.

1 comment:

  1. ugh, those situations are so hard. I have been there, very frequently, since Annie usually is the non-dominant one in the equation. It is especially hard when this situation plays out over and over again with people you see all the time. Not to say Annie is perfect, she's done her fair share of holding on to toys and not sharing and all that, but she only in the last week has ever been even close to physical about it. Even though her being physical would never actual harm someone and is really borderline if the mean intent is there, were have zero tolerance for it and immediately remove her from the situation and usually give her an instant time-out because we know exactly what happens when people don't do that.


Love to see your comments.