Thursday was a good day and a bad day in this house. Riley is sometimes a little fussy after getting home from school and this was one of those days, but after a little food and downtime we had a good evening filled with making ghosts to hang on the house and explaining what cursive is (my writing is a combo of print and cursive and she wanted to know how to do it). It was nice.
We even took pictures so I could practice shooting with kelvin white balance. I've done it before, but took an online course of sorts recently that got me to think I should try it in my house where the auto white balance never really gets it right. Riley's used to me taking her picture so we had some fun with it as well.
After picture time we watched a bunch of funny cat videos in honor of National Cat Day. We were both cracking up. We were having fun.
But then bedtime came. I'm sure she was just over tired, but she was aggressive and then pouty and then just wouldn't listen. Not my usual happy girl. There was crying and then sobbing. Jesse and I made multiple trips to her bedroom. We talked about our feelings and how feeling tired can make us feel sad or irritated. She needed more snuggles than usual and we were willing to give them.
After she was settled, I decided to edit the pictures I took. The white balance looked much better using kelvin, but as I played around with them, I realized a black and white photo felt appropriate. Not so much because it's moodier, but because it seemed to focus on her emotion. It cut out all the other distractions. I loved this picture because she was connected with me (or the camera) and she seems content... and I know she was happy when I took the picture.
In the morning she was better, but she told me she almost starting crying after I left her the night before. She also asked "what if I'm always sad, that the sad never goes away". I wanted to assure her that wouldn't happen, but I know it does. I once felt that way and I want to help her avoid that as much as I can.
On Friday, I attended her school for a Halloween party. I wasn't feeling my best and wanted to stay home, but I was glad I went as she was delighted to see me. While there I ran into an aide for one of the other kindergarten classes. Riley knew her as she subbed in at her preschool over the summer. The aide shared that Riley was always happy and gives her a big hug every day. It was comforting to hear, but also something I already know. She's a normal kid with normal feelings, but this kindergarten stuff can be a little hard. It's no surprise that she fussed a bit again tonight at bedtime and then fell promptly asleep.
It may take awhile to adjust so I guess it's just extra cuddles in the meantime. That's something I can totally do.